If I wanted to make an analogy, Easter in 2008 was like the last level of the hardest game I would ever have played. In the face of death, words disappear, even explanations and reason, and when death steals one of the most precious people of life, you become stone and that suffering you somehow makes an armor. What I remember is my mother’s words, is “that absolute evil doesn’t exist and that in every bottomless black abyss lies a white stain.”
Although I have remained, without the most precious man in my life, my great love, my pillar, my dear father, these moments define me, and in a way, his death has brought me inspiration and the will to carry me further than I could have imagined. Both my departure from Romania, the loss of my father and the fact that I left my mother alone, made me stronger. I’ve managed to do brilliant things that I hope will make my parents proud, even though my father is no longer here with me, I know he looks down from up there.
When you finally manage to realize that your father will never return and he has succeeded, he can find peace, somehow you find in you a loophole, a kind of hope, but reality strikes shortly – even beyond the heavens It still teaches you what life means, still takes care of you. The difference is that he’s not there for you now, and when you realize this loss, part of you dies.
Everyone has a cross to go, God will never give you a greater burden than you can carry. I’m always going to miss something, especially in the key moments of my life. Each of us has that moment where we lose something precious, a man, a love, an opportunity maybe, there are feelings that we can never relive. But that means being human, that’s what it means to be alive.
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