Why is your child not like other children ?! I admit that I have sinned by asking myself this, rhetorical question.
Every human being is unique, even from the womb of the mother who brings it into the world. But we are somehow guided by all kinds of stereotypes and patterns. And we have expectations. Too many expectations. Be good, get enough sleep, eat everything from the plate and the list can go on forever. So when the nightmare seems to have its personality already, you realize that there are actually no universally valid and applicable rules, that everything is just useless statistics and that you have to guide yourself according to your child’s needs and way of life, without to look over the fence at other mothers and without longing for a “better” child.
Having no tangle with very young children before I became a mother, I thought that in principle, everything is about food, sleep and play. Hm, flower in my ear, I was telling myself then. I mean, what’s so hard about giving him food, taking a bath, letting him sleep and playing with him?
But here, in our case, the “rules” that I thought would be applied not only did not apply, but they also created confusion and frustrations like “Why is mine not like X? “.
As I said, Arya shattered any theory I had. She only sleeps for about an hour a day, two in the happiest case. It only sleeps if I’m around, otherwise the average is 30-40 minutes. She doesn’t eat much food. He likes all the milk and hunger and craving and in no way can I thicken his food on his neck. She often wants to be held in her arms, and that doesn’t mean I’m guilty of “learning it like that.” Things that wouldn’t bother or worry me at all if I didn’t feel the looks or compassionate tone of other mothers. That feeling of distrust inevitably arises, which other mothers serve you with such good will.
What am I not doing well? Why can’t I make him an exact meal and sleep schedule? Why else can I not? It was a time when these questions were stirring me up when other mothers raised their exemplary children. Then I blamed myself for my mistake. Because I compared my child to other children and because I doubted to some extent my ability to be a good mother.
My dear, the idea of this article is this: that we do a great job each, because each child is different and has different needs. Now I don’t feel helpless anymore because Arya doesn’t eat much or eat at all although theoretically she should eat x grams of food at her age. I don’t feel like I’m wrong with something because I sleep too little. Sometimes I just feel so tired. The compassion of the perfect ones took me!
The child is a human being, not a robot. The child tells you what to do before learning to speak. And it’s unique, so it shouldn’t be compared to others. And not even tanned, it’s just not a wild beast. The child must be loved and respected.
So, take a break from a hot seasonal tea and trust yourself and your child. Don’t worry, follow your instinct. This is how great people came from those whose mothers did not live in the age of technology and information. Because of your instinct, intuition or how you want to say it. Moms know, moms can. Moms succeed. Moms are not perfect.
10 thoughts to “There are no perfect mothers. And not perfect children.”
I wish to express appreciation to you for bailing me out of this type of dilemma. After searching throughout the online world and meeting concepts that were not powerful, I believed my entire life was over. Being alive without the presence of answers to the difficulties you’ve sorted out by means of your good blog post is a crucial case, and the ones that might have negatively affected my career if I hadn’t discovered your blog post. Your good understanding and kindness in dealing with every item was priceless. I am not sure what I would’ve done if I hadn’t encountered such a point like this. I can at this moment relish my future. Thanks very much for the skilled and sensible guide. I won’t hesitate to refer the blog to any person who requires guidelines on this subject matter.
Thank you for your own hard work on this web site. My niece really loves doing internet research and it is easy to see why. My spouse and i hear all concerning the lively method you provide valuable ideas through your website and welcome response from some other people on the subject matter then our favorite princess is truly understanding a whole lot. Have fun with the remaining portion of the new year. You are doing a terrific job.
My wife and i have been very relieved that Michael managed to round up his survey from the precious recommendations he gained from your weblog. It is now and again perplexing to just be freely giving tricks that many some people might have been making money from. We fully grasp we have the blog owner to be grateful to for this. All the illustrations you made, the simple website navigation, the relationships you will assist to foster – it’s all astounding, and it’s really aiding our son and the family consider that the issue is satisfying, and that’s really pressing. Many thanks for the whole lot!
I enjoy you because of all of the work on this blog. My daughter really loves working on internet research and it is obvious why. Almost all notice all about the dynamic method you make reliable strategies via the web blog and in addition improve response from other ones on this content then our own child is now being taught a great deal. Enjoy the remaining portion of the year. You are always carrying out a powerful job.
I抦 impressed, I need to say. Actually not often do I encounter a weblog that抯 each educative and entertaining, and let me inform you, you’ve hit the nail on the head. Your concept is outstanding; the issue is something that not sufficient individuals are speaking intelligently about. I am very completely happy that I stumbled across this in my seek for one thing regarding this.
I simply needed to thank you so much all over again. I do not know the things that I could possibly have taken care of without the actual information provided by you regarding such concern. It had become the frightening case in my position, nevertheless taking a look at your professional avenue you resolved the issue forced me to jump for delight. Now i am thankful for your information and then hope you find out what a great job you were accomplishing instructing men and women by way of your web blog. I’m certain you haven’t got to know all of us.
I wanted to post a small note so as to appreciate you for those superb advice you are placing at this website. My time consuming internet research has finally been recognized with useful details to write about with my family and friends. I ‘d repeat that most of us website visitors actually are very much blessed to live in a superb community with many wonderful professionals with interesting tricks. I feel quite privileged to have come across the webpage and look forward to really more excellent moments reading here. Thanks a lot once more for all the details.
I just wanted to compose a message in order to thank you for these splendid ways you are placing on this site. My prolonged internet investigation has at the end been paid with reasonable points to exchange with my family members. I ‘d tell you that most of us site visitors actually are truly blessed to live in a very good community with many marvellous individuals with helpful basics. I feel truly privileged to have come across the website page and look forward to so many more exciting moments reading here. Thank you again for everything.
I must point out my admiration for your kind-heartedness for those people that require help with this particular concept. Your very own commitment to passing the solution throughout was certainly invaluable and have in every case helped guys just like me to reach their dreams. Your own valuable advice indicates much to me and further more to my office colleagues. Thanks a ton; from each one of us.
et quid dixit de homine? quid dignus est? vita nos discursat et discursibus maxime ex nostris erroribus discere cogimur, sic… nemo in hac terra perfectus est.