Letter to me …

Have you ever needed to talk to someone and no one was there to listen to you? Was it difficult for you to accept the idea of being alone in a foreign world? Did you come to mourn? I have lived and sometimes live both past and present.

Dear me,

What does your dream child do once you were? your smile …… it’s still the same? It is still the same despite the imperfection? By the way … imperfection is perfection!

How are you still? Do you still have long hair? Or did you decide that a change would be better? I know you didn’t really like these “changes” in the past except when you wanted a major change or a new beginning … Now how is it? Have you managed to fulfill your dreams? Do you remember how much you wanted to do at once? How many unfulfilled desires and dreams did you always have for them? Do you remember them all? Did you manage to make them shine? I know, they were important to you …

Do you still care what the world says? Are you as optimistic? Do you still laugh at them when they tell you “you can’t”? Or when I tell you “you will not succeed ..”? Does it still hurt when you hear all this? You don’t give them importance now, do you? You left them behind, in a lost world right?

How is it there, is the world still disappointing you? Or did you find that balance and the power to remove all that is not worth the smile? I hope you don’t have a problem with that anymore … do you? The world doesn’t scare you anymore right? Do you still think you can change them? The word “impossible” does not yet have “im” in your vision?

But … with relationships? Do you finally have someone who makes you happy or … have you ever taken a pee? You still believe in “love”, right? Have the disappointments of the past still not “cut” your branches of hope? Is the “handmade” plan still valid? Or .. have you re-profiled? A “painted shirt”? Or are you still “out of print? Do you still want to be different? So … things made from your heart … your heart?

But how do you stay with friends? What are they doing? Are you looking for more now or … did they forget about your existence when you said ” Bye-Bye Romania!”? How this sounds … You have no way to forget them..you have a good soul and a clean heart, you do not know how to lie, hate and hate you..you are too pure … pure as the water of a bad one.

Life? Death? People? Trees? Ideas? Memories? The fact that you are “inferior” to some of you get to where you are today. Do you remember everything? It is normal, time goes by and memories remain. You were there for you. To make you feel good, to learn from mistakes and to face the challenges … to make you laugh … to give you hope. He was there. Now is it a new start and I hope you have reached your goal. Do you have the family you wanted? Have you managed to get rid of the side with hospitals and health problems? Children? How’s that going? Still hoping? Maybe … you learned something new, didn’t you?

Is your child’s nature the same? Do you still enjoy the caramel taste? But the watermelon? Is it still your favorite fruit? And “telenovelas”? … You’re still watching, right? It’s still part of your life, right? Are you still dreaming? Or … have all your dreams been fulfilled …? Impossible. I know you always had a new dream. Not only for you but for those around you … you are still thinking about the well-being of those around you, right? It still matters more to you than yourself … normal.

And … your life … how is it? Are you still as insecure with the answer to the question “Who are you?” Do you still love the rain but do you hate thunder? Approaching Christmas, winter … do you enjoy yourself? Do you have the same heart as in the past … the exterior as young, the interior as old …?

I really hope so. I hope you didn’t let anyone steal your innocence as a child with whom you have always walked in every new beginning. I hope you found your happiness. With people like you … Whatever “happiness” means to you in the future, I hope it’s very different from what it means in the past. I hope your dreams are just as glorious and have the same “impossible” smell that you have always shattered with your so-called “reason”. I don’t even ask about logic, I know that he never had a home in you. Always in your own way … who needs more sense when things are going so well, right?

Your thoughts, your feelings..all..I hope you are still a small part of yourself, on a paper, you have not stopped wanting to write, so I hope. I know you had a lot to say, so far, I hope you said everything! And if not everything … more time. I hope you have found that “you” in whatever you have done and will still do. Whether you’re weak … I hope you still start laughing to show everyone you’re not as “soft” as they think.
“Tomorrow is another day!” Remember? You used to say this all the time, in any situation … do you still say it? The world still wonders “why”?
As for your friends … take care, do not give up believing in them … Do not leave them .. Even if it is worth it … you just know how hard it was without them. If you quarreled with them, apologize … in the end … anyway you know better … the world comes and goes … as for friends … you know you’ve always had a closet and some rope that you’ve never used …

I hope you stayed the same … as immature, talkative, full of energy and above all, I hope you remained yourself. Don’t let the world kill your child’s soul that has always burned in you. I know it was always easy for you, but you went through it all with your head up high … I hope you still do that.
Probably now, when you read this, whenever it is, you may need support … you may feel that the world is crashing down on you … do you think how good you were in the past? Let me remind you that when you wrote this, you were sad, your heart was disappointed .. again and you thought that “misfortune and tribulation allied to make you black days.” Do you remember? If I don’t … I tell you, then it wasn’t easy. But you have found the power to smile, to hope and to believe that in the future, everything will be better. You know how hard it was sometimes for you .. I hope now, you’re good. Enjoy every day you have, you do not know when it will be the last. Even better than you think.

Don’t forget who you are and don’t give up hoping for what you believe! Make me proud! Let me know that I have not become a failure, as sometimes I thought I would become. Show me that time really heals any wound and that nothing is really impossible. You stay … but be good every day. Make people smile but … don’t forget to smile too! Don’t grow up too fast … It’s nice to be a kid! Play with your life and make it worth it!

Don’t let me down!

Thank you, Iulia from the past