Lately, even very late for my emotional well-being, I learned to correctly interpret the silence or absence of people, and I also learned to practice them. For most of my life I’ve been dependent on the presence of people in my life, but over time I’ve managed to gain my emotional independence. That cost me a lot of tears crying and uncrying with disappointment. I spent a while being angry and feeling wronged. I don’t feel that way today. Today I move forward more easily and I am no longer willing to accept from anyone the remnants of friendship, of attention or appreciation.
People reveal most things to you when they retreat in silence. Absence says more than presence. We live in an era where friendships are born and end on Facebook, where people no longer communicate face-to-face to tell each other what they have, where hugs are more than just snoofted and fake, where it’s all about a single click, where we keep appearances only from the eyes of the world, in which we pretend to be friends until one day WHEN, as if by magic, we’re not.
Ironically or not, I chose this way of withdrawal. In silence. It seems uncomplicated, and to some extent it is. It saves you from the unnecessary explanations and complacency you might receive. It saves you from short, dry lines that make sure everything’s okay even though it’s more than obvious that it’s not.
Alexandru Lăpuşneanu (Ruler of Moldavia) said the famous words: “If they don’t want me, I want them and I don’t love them, I love them and I will still go, either willingly or unwillingly”, as the chronicler Grigore Ureche notes.
But now…No regrets, no drama, no hard feelings. Some friends resist despite any obstacle, others don’t. Some loves are eternal, others are doomed to failure before they are born. There are unwritten laws, but lived. Or suffered.
The ones who disappoint you the most in this world are the people you think are the least they can do. We’ve all convinced ourselves of that. You wake up one morning and you don’t have any real friends. Sometimes you don’t even know why and you’re left with a lot of questions. But maybe it’s better not to have all the answers. Sometimes silence and absence are the best things a person can do for you. Take my word for it!
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