I would like to freeze time … like my painted with Frozen…

What does it mean to be a woman? I wrote another article on this subject and maybe I still went unnoticed … Sometimes life is so beautiful that it’s like you live in a story, you are born with a special charm, you do everything at will until you fall in love .. .and yet love is not everything … you get after a certain period to feel extra where you once were everything … and you start all over again.

Everything in life is replaceable… maybe only the family is not. The parents and siblings that were given to you, because they are good or bad are yours and you can’t change them even if you want to. Maybe in life you are not very lucky, or maybe you have a gram that will change your whole life. Mine changed 180 ° knowing Stefan, I don’t regret anything, because I’m extremely happy for the choice I made.

But not everything is just butter and honey … although we fell madly in love, we left our homeland to be with him, we overcame health problems, giving birth to a perfect child and having the most beautiful moments, but, we wanted another miracle. We left For Benning and moved to Dallas, everything happened in a flash as fast as now when I feel crushed … a new beginning in which without knowing it, I stepped left. In less than a week, the Pandemic came … we got to know each other even better, to spend more time together because the army had not given us this chance and to see together, the growth and development of our daughter.

Immeasurable joy, Easter and the announcement of a new family member … 10 days … that’s how long the happiness lasted. Today I went to the Doctor to see the fruit of my love, I was excited, I had thousands of emotions that went away in a second. An unformed fetus … or a fake pregnancy … I don’t even know how to reproduce the feelings and feelings of today, and maybe tomorrow. Only 4 pills and everything will go away… “You don’t have to be afraid, just call us back after and we will make a new ultrasound consultation “…. Fuck Covid… If you didn’t exist maybe now I didn’t have so many shattered hopes and everything it would have been different …

I put my head on the pillow with my daughter, Arya … I will sleep with her in my arms … she will soothe my sadness and make me see life a little deeper than I saw it until now. Next visit home, Romania, 3 weeks before we leave. Those days will fly lightning fast and I do not know what we will go through again … quarantine or not … Pff … Why do the fears never stop?
In our life, we always learn something from, either mistakes, or joys, or dreams or simply just memories …

I am sure, we all want every now and then to stop time… but NO … it is the only thing we can not control in life. You have to take it all with good and bad, if they were only good I wouldn’t feel like we live and if they were just bad … we wouldn’t want to wake up anymore. So … life with good and bad is beautiful because we have something to learn from it!


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