…continuation…

On the way to that cursed house, the phone rang again …my father had died …

 Now when I write, that feeling pressed me again … I remained like a stone tin, I couldn’t think of anything … it hurt … it burned … I didn’t know what I had … we didn’t react with anything… now my husband asks me what I’m doing …

 I write my life … Why?  Because this is how I feel and because life is not always easy, there are ups and downs, there are good or bad people, at least that’s how we catalog them, who come and go, friends, relatives and parents.

I arrived at that cursed place …. the rescue came after 2 hour … 45 minutes resurcitation but whitout use … Cardiorespiratory Stop …

 My mother had just arrived and said her the last words.

 “Don’t ever disappoint me and take care of yourself “… then it’s gone …

It still hurts and it will hurt me, my whole life … I still want to hear his voice and show him what I have, what I do … what I can … although at the same time I know that from above he looks at me and is proud of me.

 Then I condemned him that he should have stayed to see me at my house and to play with my child too, but … God wanted that and you can’t put up with his will.

I took care of everything and I could not outsource, I kept everything in me … I took my dad from that damn place and took him home, I bought everything I needed at such times … I …  I could not shed a tear … I did not want to disappoint him, neither then nor a month after when I had the license exam.

I completed a three-year undergraduate program in Business Management, specializing in Economy of Commerce, Tourism and Services and was awarded the degree of Licentiate in Economic Sciences, Grades B… I know I could do more but I was immune, I was like a robot that stepped twice in the same place, then I attended in Economic and International Business Master but it was not enough… I’ve opted for another one to do in parallel the Marketing and Busines Negotiations.

Near the end of the first year of study, the bad states intensified and from a simple control followed countless controls and to the end, the puncture. It freaked me out, seeing my place close to him, by my father.
The answer after the puncture, was told to me immediately… Cancer….
Pff… With the same smile on the lips… What do I have to do? Go now to Doctor Ghermigean and talk to him as soon as possible for the operation… You have to hurry…

I got out of the cabinet and I claced… How… Why… What did I do wrong? … thyroid cancer… And what do they eat? I didn’t know anything… I entered the Internet and searched the diagnosis given… Cacinom papillome screlozant, follicular, epithelial etc., worse I clacat… Who should I talk to? My mother? My father is no longer near her and still suffers after the 35 years spent together… My sister? He will call my mother immediately… My brother? Has his life… My boyfriend? Will stay with me from the mercy… Off God… I didn’t know what to do.

At that time, my colleague and my friend, Mery also called me at the hearing of the news, because I was crying, she said she was coming after me, which happened and together I went and talked to the doctor, setting out the steps to follow for the operation and , especially helped me get over the shock of the moment. Conclusion… Chernobyl… We all know or heard about this. Me being born in 1985 may have been a repercussion ever since.

We counted the days, he locked me in me, I did not know what to do with my mother, how to tell her, what to do, I finally spoke with his brother I send her to him in Spain but meanwhile the question marks rose to my sister , not knowing what is with me at a time, until I gave her the histo-pathological result to find out from Google a whole madness, and eventually finding out and mom and never went anywhere else, being with me in those moments.

When we face to face with the “big C”-a often frightening diagnosis, it is important to know that a positive, confident and optimistic attitude can differentiate between “defeated” and “winner”. 

I was operated on September 11th to 10 years after the attacks, I did not let myself be defeated, with the support of my loved ones, caring for my own person and health at the forefront, along with a team of dedicated physicians and treatment made in advance, I managed to emerge victorious all the time. 

I allowed this unfortunate story to change my life only for the better. I have not confessed to many people the diagnosis (from the respect of not burdening their lives and wishing to protect myself in the face of questions, milious glanses, many gestures that I would have understood-but I would be tired over the measure of living only by constantly telling About the same thing-although, sometimes this thing has eluded me.)

Those who knew (my wonderful family and my friends, equally wonderful) helped me in the most appropriate way for me: They trusted me and backed me out of the shadows more. I knew they were there and that if I swaying they would support me, but they left me the dignity and the space to fight how I feel to do it.

I went to work and I continued my two masters in parallel, during the entire period of treatment, I took my life in general lines as if nothing had been changed. What changed was that instead of asking myself, “Why me?” I started to wonder, “How do I solve this situation?” and I looked for answers in food, religion, medicine. I have read many books on the subject of healing and I have tried to understand what is going on in my body and how I can help in addition to oncological treatments to be good and to go beyond this period. We have traveled many hists of those who have overcome this impasse by trying to find out how they succeeded.

During therapy, I was not lucky because I had bad conditions, muscle aches and I could not stand up because the diet that I was supposed to go through before therapy was extremely strict, not allowed to eat absolutely anything that contained iodine and With the red color. While I was enjoying one more day, everything was perfect and I had the opportunity to do something. As long as I’m alive, everything is possible. When you say you can no longer… You can do a little more.

I was watching romantic movies often and he (the ex-boyfriend) told me he said that only in the movies existed, I dream with my eyes open. My paths, after two years of therapies met with hers, the one with whom he lived a beautiful love story and the reason for other therapies reappeared. I didn’t want to believe what I had heard… “He is still with you because he is pity! ” And I wanted as much as I could get over and tell my doctor. You’re all right! Enjoy life, create a family and give birth to healthy babes, as I always went to church and prayed, but it was not to be… Followed one, two… Seven therapies and still would be followed… Transforming seemingly trivial events into the source of amusement… I ran away from the past and watched my future… The one I wanted with all my heart… A happy family based on a love film.. And so it was to be.

As for the end, he gave me the thought that if it was to end, then it would have been otherwise, and I would never have had the chance to fight, to overcome and overcome this stage. He, my husband, Stefan Badea gave me health, happiness and with him in another country, many miles away, I received the long-awaited diagnosis. The cancer is in remission and we must focus only on the happiness that would comfort our souls, the child who grew in me… I was pregnant in 2 months.

Nothing is easy in life… I suffered, I cried… I would have a lot to write with the luxury of detail through what I’ve been through, my father’s death, my former relationship, the way I felt about every therapy, how I felt at those moments in those little rooms with iron beds, bars on the window and rarely someone who quickly enters and leave you food at the door… But… Everything has an end when everything ends well…

This experience with the disease, brought me closer to myself, to my loved ones, made me realize and focus on what is most important in my life, made me not to postpone things, not to miss opportunities, to live in the present, to enjoy life and to cherish each It has a moment, starting every day as if it were the first of my existence (full of enthusiasm, curiosity and a lot of plans) and ending it as if it were the last (no regrets).

I would convey to all people the request to cherish life and, if not for them, at least for the sake of those whom they love, to care, to prevent any affection they feel, periodically monitoring their state of health.

At such times, you have to have faith and trust, to say that you are well though you are not, lying you will end up believing and even being good. Enjoy everything that surrounds you, do not succumber to the struggle with life, cry only for happiness, feed yourself correctly, think efficiently, rest enough and transform any experience into something beneficial.

Thank you for leaving some of your time and reading this article. I wish you a lot of health, because it’s above all then, a gram of luck, a little happiness and a lot of imagination!

 PS: So I found my vocation… That’s how I started painting with little school in this area.