I have so many thoughts, so many ideas and yet too little time. Time flies… a mother’s day is not so easy. I would have liked that after Arya takes her step, on a walk, through the world of dreams, that is, around 9.30 pm-10 pm, to allocate a little more time for me as well. But most of the time, I fall asleep next to her.
Now Arya is finally asleep. Only in her moments of sleep do I have a little rest for myself or for my thoughts. I’m not complaining, don’t understand that. It’s just that I miss myself from time to time, from words, from silence, from… I don’t know very well either. It is certain that I often feel the need to write, but I no longer have the time, and when she sleeps, like now, I have many other things to do.
On the word. After she fall asleep, sometimes it’s a party in my head! Mooaamaa! See how much I do now! I’m starting to learn, I just didn’t sign up for the AWS Cloud Practitioner course in vain, to write a couple more articles for the blog, to paint… but sometimes I wake up with it on my head and I have to close put his laptop aside and brush the paint in a hurry. Sometimes I want to disappear with my laptop, to be able to lay on this virtual sheet everything that dictates my heart and whispers my soul, but we come back in time.
On my sleepless nights I think about various aspects of life that bother me or make me unhappy. The last thing I thought or think about right now are… pretensions.
I am very happy when I see my close friends from general, high school, college … I have become my husband’s idol and I am overwhelmed by so many feelings when I see their way of talking, the endless hours and their jokes. Maybe I wasn’t so lucky but also I can enjoy some pretensions that when I don’t expect them, they call me and just tell me “What are you doing? Are you ok?
I noticed that in many other respects things go differently for me than for other people. Maybe it’s normal, maybe not everyone has a true friendship for life. Maybe some people are not built to be friends. While other people are not made to have a friendship, but it does not seem so difficult and yet, not everyone succeeds. Friends often take different paths because of distance, money, other people, etc. but I see that my husband keeps it intensely and ..I am jealous.Even very jealous although I love some of my friends who I even consider them my sisters.😊
Who can say what the recipe for a successful friendship is? After all, it’s good if you manage to taste a drop of the cup of friendship even for a short period of time. I don’t regret anyone, but sometimes I admit that I’m sorry for the time invested in some friendships. Maybe it wasn’t completely wasted, but still…
Ready… sleep because time says its word again and in the morning I will definitely wake up in front of Arya and I will stay to “leaf through” the internet, to find out what is happening in the world, and in the other corner of the world where there is family ours, and about life, the one where I don’t have time for that. And then I start with the rest of the things, or rather the duties of wife, mother and sometimes artist. To cook something… to write something… to aspire … and search the internet again .. Well, in most cases I can’t even make half of my list, because Arya wants all our time. Time… much too fast passes and we have far too little to do our whims without upsetting the fruit of our love.
Arya growls in her sleep… she’s bothered by the phone light. My thoughts stop here.
The best to gather! 😉