Do you know that “Theory as theory, but practice kills us!” Well, this article still had to wait for that: 1. articles like this were written and 2. I didn’t know where to start and what to end with.
So, I said to start with this very thought, because this is the end. About “practice”.
Before Arya I had theories about how I would be as a mother. With Arya in the tummy, theories have changed, but we still keep some of the old concepts. With Arya in his arms, all theories have undergone major changes! :))
So, my dear future life-givers, prepare for change. Accept it without being opposed, because otherwise everything for you will be the hardest.
As I said, before Arya said that I will not let the child change me, change my habits and lifestyle, I strongly believe that I will be the mother who will manage to do this and dismantle the myth. I laughed in the nose at those who told me how their children changed their lives and I was even ironic or a little critical in myself. Then, hearing more and more experiences began to sprout in my mind the idea that I am not ready for such a change, that I am not yet ready to give up my weekends of laziness, my time for myself, etc.
But one day in October, the change began to take over within me without seeking permission from the obsessed control in me and regardless of whether I was ready or not! 😀 Now I sit and think that even during the 8 months I didn’t do too well. I read a lot of articles on all topics related to breastfeeding, I had already formed a few concepts and thought I would know how to manage every moment. But … you know … theory, practice, what I said at the beginning …
In the hospital it was relatively easy because Stefan was with me for the duration of the “event” he attended the birth, we slept together in the living room, we kept our chicken at the breast and everything was very easy. Plus the help of the nurses who were always with us, but the most important thing was that we attended the courses for the future parents together. The long-awaited day came too – the one when we finally left home. I thanked God, because even though she was born at 35 weeks, she was not required to stay in the incubator and her breast was accepted immediately after being given to me. I confess with my hand on my heart that when I was alone with her at home I felt overwhelmed. I had forgotten everything I thought I knew and I felt extremely helpless, helpless. Where the hell was I, that informed, who knew what to do? I must admit that I needed a little help to gather. The first week I thought it was a horror movie and I couldn’t believe I was trapped in the skin of the main character. Weeks went by, they became months, and with each stage I dismantled a theory.
Here I wanted to get there (long introduction, right ?!). Before / after. Let’s tell you ...
Before, imbued with American films in which the child has his room, and the parents on theirs, I was also seen standing relaxed in a room, doing my job, and the child in his room, “communicating” his needs through the device. that stays in each of the rooms. Good. With Arya in the carrier I set out to share the same room in different beds. You know, together, but keep some distance. After Arya, the crib was used for about a week. Then came the colic, she would calm down if I was holding her by my tummy and she would wake up crying when I put her in her crib. So I told myself that after the colic’s gone, I’ll move her back to her bed. In the meantime, I read about the benefits of co-sleeping for the child’s emotional development and even if I didn’t read about them, I wouldn’t be able to sleep away from it (yes, in the crib it’s far!).
After 8 months of sleeping “in me” all I can offer her now is “near me”.
I didn’t even want to hear about breastfeeding before. I was watching with horror at my mother’s left breasts, which she was always joking about, saying they were “my works”. I said no, that’s not for me. I do not want breasts left and a child dependent on me. During pregnancy, I set myself the goal of breastfeeding for up to a year or even more if I can, being more informed about how important and healthy the baby’s breast milk is and how absolutely no formula, no matter how improved it would be, it cannot equal it. I wished with all my heart that I could breastfeed. After the birth, the breastfeeding chapter seemed to me the most difficult in its beginnings, but it became the most natural thing possible. Yes, the breasts have already started to leave and although sometimes I felt weird when I saw them in the mirror, when Arya the Pope felt that I could do this until the end of the world without any regret. So here my theory has changed. I’ll breastfeed until Arya tells you to stop. Yes, it’s dependent on me. So what! When she becomes independent, I will probably long for this addiction. It is a sublime act and no woman should avoid it “because …”.
Time for me. Here is the thing I was most afraid of and I wasn’t ready to lose. In the first month the 5 minute shower and the 10 bath were my only time for me. After spending 9 months in you, you can’t set it aside at once. And if you have to leave it for a few hours he will still want you. My mother’s arms are no substitute for anyone. Outings with friends have also changed their dynamics and frequency. However, we take Arya everywhere she can go with the baby, but it is not the same anymore. Ultimately it doesn’t have to be. From now on you are a person with other responsibilities. But even so you should not give up on yourself, on outings in the city, on social life. And this for your psychic and implicit gmo-shock. I am set to leave in about 5 minutes now. You can be an arranged mother, flirtatious, beautiful and with a small child in her arms. For your self-esteem. To feel good in your skin even with a few extra pounds. Because you deserve.
And now, I stop because Arya woke up and it’s kind of hard to type with one hand … 😀 She is also “guilty” if the text has a mistake, because I have no time to read / correct it.
I hug you and look forward to your own experiences. I want to see how many moms / bellies I have around here. 😀
Arya demands her rights!
See you! 😉
11 thoughts to “The life after giving birth”
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