There comes a time when changes in the circle of knowledge appear after entering the parents. You are no longer part of the camp of those who can do what they want with their free time, and those who have stayed on the other side of the barricade can no longer be on the same wavelength as you. It is not a universally valid rule, but I have found that it applies quite often.
Parents vs. non-parents. It’s ugly to put labels like that, but in this case it’s inevitable. Meetings with friends who do not have children gradually change, but certainly the dynamics. It’s hard to keep up with the world you no longer belong to. Change occurs by itself, you don’t have to do anything about it. Your free time is considerably limited, the daily activities change almost completely, the availability for night outings is out of the question. These are things you only understand when you become a parent. By then you believe and you are sure that a child will not change your habits and habits.
A child even changes your life to 180 degrees no matter how hard you resist in the first phase. That is, if you want to be present in the life of your child and you are 100% involved in raising him …
Going back to the idea I left, most of your friends who do not have children will no longer be able to keep up with you or, better said, you will not be able to keep up with them. And then a rupture inevitably occurs. They cannot understand that you can no longer be spontaneous when it comes to outings in the city and that everything has to be planned in the smallest details, that staying 24/24 with a small child somewhat limits your topics of conversation even if you strive. to be aware of the mundane world and to talk about something other than the child and his world, that even if you have a child with him at home sometimes you are too tired to want to leave home alone, even if that would mean a welcome and well-deserved break. You, on the other hand, find it difficult to accept that others cannot understand these things that have become natural to you and you feel somewhat put aside.
I do not regret at all the previous life with all its freedom. I would be hypocritical not to admit that I sometimes miss certain aspects of it, but I certainly wouldn’t give the one I have now. There are things you only understand after you become a parent, not earlier than that. Until then, you are only judging and criticizing those who have changed after their small family got older. You cannot understand that a child means the sacrifice of your own self in his favor. It’s not you first, it’s him and everything you do revolves around him. Priorities change, and those who cannot accept this also change their attitude towards you. It’s sad that this is happening, but … it is happening.
This article is not meant to be a criticism of those who are not parents, but rather a finding that I want to share with those who can understand me.
With love myself and yet another,